I Am Enough

I've been wanting to write about this for a while, as it seems to be something that keeps surfacing in my life - both professionally and personally. But what does it mean to believe that you are enough? Why is it important to believe that you're enough? How do you get yourself to believe that idea?!

You are enough - just as you are now. It's not contingent on anything else. Sometimes we have this belief that we aren't enough until we...fill in the blank here with any number of expectations we put on ourselves (lose weight, get a particular grade/promotion/accolade, live up to some arbitrary idea of the parent/spouse/friend/sibling/child we're "supposed" to be, etc.). Your "enoughness" is not based on ANY of those things.

Don't get me wrong, there is always room for improvement and it's important to reflect on our lives and identify areas for growth; however, these things don't determine our value as a person. Maybe you want to work on being a better spouse, or you really want to work towards a promotion at work, those are good things; however, attainment does not reflect back on whether or not you're good enough. AND, if you continue to think that these things will make you believe that you're enough, I fear that you may still feel like you're not enough - even if you're the CEO of your company. 

Let's separate out the 2 ideas:

Idea 1: You have value and worth as a person. You are enough. Just as you are. 

Idea 2: There are things in your life you may want to work on, change or improve. Great! Achievement of these things is COMPLETELY SEPARATE from your value and worth as a person. 

Now that the 2 concepts are separate, it might be easier to believe in your worth as a person as something separate from your accomplishments, accolades, physical appearance, etc. So how do you talk to yourself as someone who believes that "I am enough?" 

1. Make Yourself a Priority: Take care of yourself now - exercise, eat healthy, get good sleep, do things that you enjoy. If GUILT creeps in, assure yourself that if you don't care for yourself, then you won't be able to help or care for those around you.

2. Examine Your Expectations for Yourself: Are they realistic? If not, adjust them. Are they healthy? If not, get rid of them. 

3. Postive Self-Talk: Get rid of the negative self-talk that makes you believe that you're not enough. Tell yourself, "I am enough." Everyday. In addition, come up with another positive message that you say to yourself and that feels believable. For example, "I work hard and try my best. I may not always succeed, but I am still okay as a person."